The Renaissance Woman

Back in September, when I left my cushy 9-5, I knew the next job I wanted was something I would be in for the long haul. I do not like switching from job to job. Plus, you always enter on the bottom rung. I wanted to search for a job that I would enjoy, I could get measurably better at over time, and I would find fulfilling.

Of course, that’s a tall order and it has taken me a while to find some direction.

I started by looking at various things I was good at and then evaluating if I thought I could make money doing it. This, for some reason, tended to favor making physical objects. Many of these things were great as a hobby, but I didn’t have the drive for it over time.

Something else that was an obvious possibility was singing. I have years of training – over 2 decades now – and it is something I can objectively say that I am good at. What I am not good at is “the world” that comes with singing. I’m not highly social. I do not tolerate pretentious people or deadbeat hipsters well. And I am not highly competitive. I like doing what I do in my own little world, sharing it with others, and hoping they might enjoy it.

Then the model of the internet musician came to the forefront of my awareness. Mostly, I had fallen in love with Jonathan Coulton. He writes geeky songs, often with much deeper overall themes, and the internet made him famous. Not in a “Pants on the Ground” kind of way, but in a “I perform a varied repertoire regularly in concerts” kind of way.

This presented me with a new model. Something that would allow me control at the beginning, as I am learning more about writing, recording, and publishing. Something that would allow me to explore without being pressured to do it the way that seemed so unappealing to me.

And thus begins my current venture. I am definitely a singer, and am seeing if I have the chops to be a songwriter.

In Part 2, I will discuss the hesitance I have at telling people what I do for a living.

I originally intended for this post to just be about how I felt about the strengths and any other integrative insights I might have gleaned, but I’ve actually been thinking of something else.

I am surprised how many of the people on the forums for Strengths Finder post the following:

I just got my results. I am S1, S2, S3, S4, S5. What kind of job should I pursue?

It just shows so much context being dropped and somewhat exemplifies the “tell me what to do” attitude many people have toward life.

Now I will be the first to say that I often run to the comfort of “tell me what to do” when I am feeling purposeless. This is a weakness I see in myself that I am looking to correct for one simple reason: When you decide what you want to do, and you choose to pursue it for your own reasons and your own pleasure, you will be much more fulfilled by what you do.

I was becoming very frustrated trying to work for companies I didn’t believe in or just wasn’t as passionate about compared to things I really love to do. I never experienced what I would call “burn out” – but my interest and zeal would wane over time. This is very disappointing to me because I find it very difficult to do my best work when in this state, and I very much hate not doing my best work.

While I am still playing my next professional move a little close to the chest currently, I am extremely vitalized by the idea of it.

And that’s exactly where I want to be.

It’s obvious that many of my friends have very strong feelings about this whole debacle. Because of that, I tend to want to stay out of it all together, even though I feel pretty strongly about the whole situation as well. However, I feel like just putting this out there would be a relief for me, so I’m gonna do it. This blog is also an effort to get me to come out of my shell a bit more, so here goes.

There’s way too many places out there to get info on what happened. For the airline’s side, see their blog, “Nuts about Southwest” or most any of the news reports. For Kevin’s side, see his SModcasts (106 and 107) and several of his video SModscasts available as well. You can also check out his twittering at @ThatKevinSmith.

I generally like Kevin Smith. I like most of his movies, but usually for over-arching themes, interesting characters, and insightful ideas, which I do think speak volumes of his generation. I enjoy them despite some of their more offensive bits (I’m sorry, I can’t stand Jay). The criticism he has received for being profane while discussing this incident on Twitter seems just silly to me, since he uses profanity all the time – from when he’s really pissed off to when he’s professing love for his wife. Profanity follows passion when it comes to Kevin Smith, so it just seems like a moot argument to me.

Here’s what I don’t like about how he was treated. Southwest does have a clear policy regarding their customers “of size” – and it is defined by being able to lower the armrests, or the pilot’s discretion. Kevin was able to lower his armrests, both women seated next to him had no complaints and the pilot said nothing about removing him specifically.

So there was no reason for him to be removed, according to their own policy.

On top of that, he was removed in a humiliating manner. This coupled with the story of Natali (on his second Southwest flight – see SModcast 107), frustrates me. The whole situation seems to say that Southwest may arbitrarily decide you are too fat to fly with them, and then may proceed to remove you from a flight in a humiliating manner.

Can’t they make sure this is covered when purchasing a ticket? Or even picking up the ticket at the gate? Why are these people making it all the way into their seats and then being pulled of the plane in full view of 50 to over a hundred people who are pretty damn sure why?

Now, this is an private company and I fully support their right to behave however they wish. I do not presume to tell them they must accommodate overweight passengers, or that they even need to treat them with respect and dignity. However, I personally think their behavior is appalling and will certainly not be flying with them. That, thankfully, is my right.

Many people have attempted to brush off the situation with a “What do you expect from the Wal-Mart of the skies?”. In any company I deal with (including Wal-Mart) I expect to be treated like a human being, with the basic respect that deserves (by default – respect can justifiably be lost).

Having been both underweight and borderline obese in my life (according to the criminally misused BMI), I have seen the difference in basic treatment, and I find it appalling. I fully admit to being in that group at one point, but have since come to see that behavior as ignorant, mean, and completely lacking compassion. People who disguise their hatred of fat people with concern for their health are, on the whole, full of shit. When you point out that you are quite healthy by all medical indications, it does nothing to change their perception. Spending over two years attempting to get my thyroid problem properly treated by various doctors, I can say first hand that if you are fat, many are not at all concerned with your health. My HEALTH was often dismissed and only losing weight was a suitable goal – which is an extra knife to the heart for someone with a thyroid condition. Now that I am on the road to a fully correct treatment plan, the weight is starting to come off on it’s own – gee, what a surprise!!

There is a plethora of information out there debunking that weight is fully in every person’s control – that it is always (or even often) just a matter of “eat less and exercise more”. I highly recommend Junkfood Science for a good start.

I also highly recommend Kate Harding’s article on the Kevin Smith fiasco. It does a good job of summarizing many of my frustrations with the fallout.

Just updating everyone to let them know I have merged this blog with my craft/food specific blog Cheeky Craft Chick. I will be posting here from now on and will feel free to post whatever tickles my fancy whenever I feel compelled enough to write.

Thanks for moving with me or thanks for starting to follow!

This is one of those items that I may not like aspects of it (mainly the color scheme), but the actual design of this is just gorgeous.

From Lavender Field

Absolutely adorable geeky jewelry. From Kalika Designs

While searching for yesterday’s local Etsy shop, I found Danger Crafts, which I thought might be more suitable for today’s post. They mostly sell the patterns to make such lovelies as:

and

Oh! And let’s not forget:

You can even buy groups of patterns.

So adorable!

Coming in right at the wire – well actually a little past the wire – this week’s local Etsy spotlight.

I like pottery – and I very much wish I had more uses for pottery. But, alas, I have two cats and if I put anything in a vase or bowl, they are all over it. So I’d really only be able to use them to store cat toys – and then I don’t think the container would last very long.

But I can dream of having a use for this:

Or this:

Or this little cutie:

So adorable!

I really enjoy her sense of whimsy without coming across as tacky. It’s a fine line to walk, and she’s mastered the strut!

My fifth and final top five strength is Harmony. This was the most difficult for me to self-identify.

People who are especially talented in the Harmony theme look for consensus. They don’t enjoy conflict, rather, they seek areas of agreement.

The part that throws me off is constant mention of being a peace maker. I have never seen myself as such, nor have others mentioned this as a particular strength of mine.

However, the following points are very true to me:

• you do not enjoy conflict
• you may wait to ask before sharing your knowledge
• look for the practical side of things – it is the starting point of agreement.

The practical is especially important to me. I find it is the quickest way to solve a problem. of course, solving problems is generally what leads to conflicts – people are usually very attached to their way of solving it and unwilling to consider other points of view. By bringing people back to the issue and the practical considerations, the problems usually just get solved faster – and then we can all go about our business again.

My fourth strength is Responsibility.

People who are especially talented in the Responsibility theme take psychological ownership of what they say they will do. They are committed to stable values such as honesty and loyalty.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I also very much identified with this theme. What stands out to me is the idea of taking “psychological ownership”. This is certainly something I do – sometimes to the detriment of my mental well-bring. I take ownership of things that are often outside of my control, and then feel horribly when anything goes wrong. This is, of course, as weakness as well as a strength if not kept in control of rational thought.

The other weakness that this leaves me susceptible to is taking on too much. I have had to learn how to say no more as I get older – less I take on more than anyone can reasonably handle and then berate myself when I cannot do everything I’ve promised.

The other item to focus on is how this ties into values. Because I understand the responsibility for every action I take, I highly value ethical behavior in myself and others. I find it difficult to work for companies who espouse values or motivations that I disagree with, and I find it even more difficult to be around people who have behaved unethically. Of course, intent is a huge part of this and I am much more willing to forgive mistakes and misunderstanding. But if I feel someone is intentionally malicious, or careless when care was obviously needed, it is difficult for me to look the other way.

The list of action items yield two worthwhile bits of advice.

First is to remind people in a supervisory position that I can be trusted to finish a project and do not need constant check-ins. I am not sure how realistic this might be, but I do now that the fastest way to de-motivate me is to make me feel as though I am either not trusted or that I am not unique. To constantly check in is to make me feel not trusted. To have one-size-fits-all checklists or performance matrices gives me the impression that each worker is only a cog or trained monkey, simply meant to perform trained actions without bringing any thought or creativity to their work.

However, goal setting, using clearly defined goals, is something that I am good at and can be very useful is motivating me and moving me forward.